my room smells like sperm. sweet.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
