Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
These tits shall not be calmed
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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