1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
