I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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