Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Mom said you looked used
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
