When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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