ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
should my penis look like a turkey
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
