she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize