She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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