the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
