After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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