I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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