Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
