when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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