we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize