Pants 0. Shit 1.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Come share oat with me in your robe
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize