I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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