The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
