but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
