I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
where am i from again
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
