How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
