I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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