great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
