dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We got so high we made milksteak
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
