i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
