in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Don't make out with my wife yet
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
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