Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
