Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
