so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize