Moan for me like Helen Keller
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
