He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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