just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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