I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
