So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
