I just threw up on my dentist
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
