I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
