either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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