They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
