i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
