you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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