You really coming over, don't trick.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
