I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
