dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize