I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
