ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My pussy is not your playground.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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