she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
