At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
