I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
