So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
