yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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