If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
