yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
