she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
