there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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