Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
