just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
