About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
