you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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