Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
