Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
