this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
