walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My feet surprised me
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