i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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